Man-Hunting

Berta and Maggie as usual, were together in Maggie’s room staring at the computer screen. Wondering what they should do?

Earlier on, Berta had walked in on Maggie who was furiously working on her laptop. At least, Berta thought she was until she saw the computer screen filled with pictures of hot men and blue colours. Maggie was on facebook, she was at it again.

Everybody on campus, including Maggie knows her boyfriend is cheating on her, seeing that he is a cult member and he has a reputation to uphold as a player. So every once in a while, Maggie goes man-hunting on facebook.

Max

‘Babe, what about this guy? He looks really cool o. Very cute, see his smile abeg u.’ Berta urged.

‘Hmmm, see name ma sef. Maxwell Gregory. You sure say this one no they chop salad for breakfast?’ Maggie replied. ‘See his fine fine sisters ma sef, ehen!! na this kind clique I wan join. No be you. Dry girl.’ 

 She turned to face her friend teasing her. Berta made an aimless move to hit her friend in response.

“Hello Max, my name is Maggie. I kinda stumbled upon your profile and felt I should say hi. Ciao” Maggie typed.

‘Ehen, very good. Keep it flirty and light. Not too pushy nor forceful. You are really good at this o.’ Berta complimented her friend.

‘I have had lots of practice, and you don’t want to know the things that go on on facebook.’ Maggie replied, laughing.

After waiting for some minutes without a response from their first victim, they decided to move on to someone else.

 Frank

‘Please help me see this guy’s ride. Wow!! Do you see his house too? And he is very cute to boot. This one is too good to be true o.’ Maggie was at it again. ‘Frank  Mccloy. Why Nigerians too they change change name for facebook. In reality his name fit be Ukamaka Nwaofinwuluruowuru.’

Both girls burst into laughter as they realize they had also put up strange sexier names on facebook.

‘Buzz him jor. Are you not the one trying to wash off ugliness from your lineage? However horrible his name may be, you wouldn’t mind bearing it as long as your kids are lovely.’ Berta said, removing all doubts from Maggie’s mind.

“hello handsome. You were suggested as a friend to me by facebook and I just felt we should chat a bit before we get to be friends.”

 Both girls didn’t have to wait too long before there was a response.

“hi Damusel, friends what I live for.”

“Oh that’s great, how come you don’t have as many pictures up?”

“My dear, it becas I busy” Frank replied

‘omo babe, see as this guy they gbagaun everywhere. Are you sure the few pictures he even put up are truly his? Ask am na.’ Berta told her friend.

‘Trust me now.’

“Sorry love, the pics you put up, are they truly yours?”

Once that question was asked, Frank stopped responding and the ladies need not be told that the pics weren't his.

Jide

‘Berta on a serious note though, there is this guy I have been chatting with on and off for three months now and he is cute but he is Yoruba and he lives in ikorodu, Lagos. He claims he is rich, single and perfect for me, but I have my doubts.’

‘What are they?’ Berta asked.

‘Well, my doubts are instinctive. I can’t place my finger on it. We chat well, he types well enough, he even calls me once in a while.’ Maggie replied

‘Oh!! So you have already given him your number. This my friend sef. All I know is that I know you, and you would want to at least meet him once just so you satisfy your curiousity and not regret later on.’

“Hello Jide.  Am thinking about us meeting so we could put a face to the voice.” Maggie texted.

“Yes darling, been thinking about it too. Is this weekend too soon?”

‘And he replies so fast.hmm that’s nice. He looks cool o. Before you even ask me to be your chaperone, I have an exam on Monday, and so you are alone on this one.’ Berta said, backing out from the possible weekend trip.

‘Berta, should I go alone? Its too risky. I can’t go without you, my partner in crime, besides am done with my exams and this is the only free time I believe I have.’

Both girls end up staring at the screen. Contemplating.

                                                                                         ………………………………….To be continued.

For the sake of a very special someone that requested I try out a funny post, I will end this one here but will head right back to being the sad, cynical but funny me.