Brain Teasing Day

Teasers

What is as big as you are and weighs nothing?

A cowboy rode into town on a Friday and left three days later on Friday. How did he do this?

Two Fathers and two sons go fishing and each catch a fish but came home with just three fishes. Why?

What does the letter 't' and 'island' have in common?

A certain five letter word become shorter when you add two letters to it. What is the word?

How long is the answer to this question.

Before Mt. Everest was discovered which was the highest mountain in the world.

How much dirt is there in a hole that measures 2feet by 3feet by 5 feet?

If you were running a race and you passed the person in second place what place are you in now?

A farmer has five haystacks in one field and four haystacks in another. How many haystacks would he have if he combined them in one field?


Answers (arrangement of answers is from 10-1)

1

2nd

There is no dirt in a hole.

Mt Everest although it was not yet discovered.

Long

Short

They are both in the middle of 'water'

They comprise of 1grandfather, 1father and 1son = 2fathers and 2sons.

His horses' name is Friday

Your Shadow.

The state of my country...

So I was on my own and I saw this picture and I couldn't help but capture it. For those people that may be saying huhn!!! what is this? Its a picture of 4 Nigerian men eating from a dustbin on the roadside in FCT!!! they didn't know I took this picture because I zoomed in on them but the sight speaks poorly of Nigeria...and believe me within five minutes, 3 more guys joined in the roadside feast from a dustbin...its really heart wrenching.

just a bunch of funny pics

 

 

Please have fun as you laugh out very loud....lovl...

How Maggie & Berta met

Maggie was on the happiest person to have a friend like Berta who wont judge her, who wont make her feel ugly, who is always there for her and always agreed no one looked finer than the other anytime they dressed up to go out. Today Maggie was reminiscing on her first day in her university and cringed at how heartless people can be.

‘Daddy, please can you kindly allow the driver to take me to the park?’ Maggie asked her dad

‘Erm, call him in for me.’

Her dad instructed him to drop her in 20 minutes time. The 20 minutes was used to pray, advice, give special warning against boys and pregnancy and finally her dad hid her pocket money in a section of her travelling bag. A section that was not possible for a swift robber to reach. He/she must have to take his time and search for it. The driver came back in 20minutes like he was asked to and of course, 20minutes is never enough for a doting father to pray, advice and do all of that so, the driver was present during some of the loving goodbyes that went on between father and daughter.

At the park some minutes later, the driver was complaining that he had to hurry back to the office.

‘Ok hold on let me rush into a restaurant and take something before my trip.’ Maggie said

She ate, retrieved her bag from the car, bought her ticket and boarded her bus.

Two weeks earlier, a room in the students’ lodge was booked for her by her dad and all she had to do was pay part of the money her dad had hidden in her bag for the room.

‘Hi, I made a reservation for room 23a.’ A tired Maggie was asking the receptionist after her 6-hour trip.

‘Yes there is a reservation for Miss Margaret. May I see your I.D. pls?’ The receptionist asked

‘Ok. Your money please.’ She asked again after the receptionist had looked through her ID card.

Margaret placed her travelling bag on the counter and proceeded to searching for the money where her dad had put it. She was confused because she was sure her dad had placed it in one strategic point and here she was searching. After 15minutes of frantically searching, she realized that she had been doomed. She had no account, knew no one in the university, the last cash on her was just change from her transport fare and to top it all off, she was hungry.

She kept wondering when she was outsmarted. It couldn’t have been during the journey because her feet was crossed on her box throughout the trip. And then, it struck her. How could someone be so evil, stupid and wicked? All at the same time? How? She couldn’t bear it again and that was how she started crying shamelessly in one corner of the entrance lodge.

‘Hello..’

‘Hello…’ the girl repeated shaking her shoulder. ‘What’s wrong, why are you crying?’

Maggie was too devastated to reply so she just kept on crying.

‘Ok come up to my room. Let them not see you crying in here pls.’

After crying some more in the kind lady’s room, Maggie could finally find her voice.

‘I am crying because my money was stolen.’

‘Where? How?’

Maggie told her story and the lady felt so bad for her she let her bunk in with her.

‘Whats your name?’ Maggie asked after she had calmed down.

‘Am Berta. Ok lets go and eat, don’t worry I will pay you can refund me later. ’

‘Hold on I need to make an important call.’

‘Dad, Hello.’

‘Yes sir, I reached safely. Dad pls kindly fire that driver. Fire him now pls.’ Maggie spoke into the phone.

As if she realised how deep in trouble she was relying on a stranger for food and accommodation, she began to cry again and Berta comforted her.

 

Holy Bible vs Textbook

          Berta, frankly, was a very good student. She loved to have fun though, as well as to study and pass. Her motto was, you couldn't go wrong if you did everything in life well. Besides, who was she kidding? Psychology was her dream course and she loved to understand behaviours. For example, her friend Maggie is an open book. Funloving, kind, sweet, gentle, has low self esteem so she thinks she is ugly which is extremely wrong, infact Berta thinks she could have a career in modelling. To Berta, Maggie's bad sides are that she can be extremely stubborn, too loyal (for example, she is still with her very annoying boyfriend), stingy and so many other qualities I really don't want to bore my dear readers with.

           Anyways, Berta is a good accessor of people's qualities, limits and aura. And so she cant be wrong in thinking that to get this particular much needed textbook, she would need to preach. Confused? lol. Just hold on.   

Berta's book buddies were the aspiring first class students in her class and this particular one, Jeffery was just a thorn on her side. He wasn't bending to her female whims. He was stiff. Not even a sweet 'how was your night?' from her would make him smile back at her. She had to use other means to get that textbook from him and she wasn't liking that fact.

Unfortunately, Jeffery was the only person who had the textbook for now and she must get her hands on it for at least 5 days in preparation for her exams.

 

'Jeffery, hello.' Berta had to raise her voice and walk quickly to his side.

 

'Hi.' He replied, not even turning his head or attempting to slow down.

 

'Please I need to ask you for something.'

 

'Of course, you always need something from me but its hardly the other way round.' he replied.

 

'Jeff, don't be like that, I know you must mean your invites for sunday service but I have told you that I cant leave my church.'

 

'Even for a sunday? why is that?' Jeffery asked

 

'Frankly its because I am an active church worker.' Berta replied, lying.

 

'Oh I see. Ok then. What do you want?'

 

Once the textbook was mentioned, Jeffery winced and claimed he was using it profusely for that week and that she should come for it next week Thursday.

Thursday quickly approached and Berta just couldn't wait to get her hands on the book.

 

'Come see me by 4pm.' Jeffery simply replied when Berta met him.

 

'Whyever is he so hard?' Berta asked no one in particular.

By 4pm, Berta went back to class to see him and he was surrounded by at least 15 other people, obviously members from his church for they were all holding Bibles and praying. Jeffery made eye contact with her and wove for her to come closer. He gave her his Bible and brought out another one from his bag.

'He had obviously planned this out.' She thought to herself.

 

'Let us welcome our dear visitor on this very special day of evangelism.' The leader of the prayer group said after they had finished praying.

They all stood up clapping and smiling at her then they beckoned on her to introduce herself. As she got up she couldn't help thinking that she must make an 'A' in that course for all the trouble she is going through just to get one textbook.

Bible verses were shared and pondered on and then they were grouped into ten to match the ten hostels. One group was to go into each hostel, EVANGELISING.

 

'Jeff, please I need to meet up with someone in 10minutes. May I simply get the book and go?'

 

'What do you mean? Don't you want the textbook? don't worry, whoever it is you need to meet with is not running away.'

 

'This is an academic blackmail Jeff, you didn't tell me I will be evangelising to get the textbook!!! This is not fair or right.'

 

'Do you want the textbook? or not?'

 

'Of course, you know I do.'

 

'Then stop whining' He replied her with a grin.

 

It was so embarrassing for Berta that she planned to avoid entering rooms she may know someone in and to shield herself from being seen by hiding behind the others. This is someone that party's and dresses skimpily, going for evangelism.

Maggie will surely die of laughter if she hears this one.

 

The purpose of atm is not limited to money

          Packing her bags on a Friday evening, Maggie decided to visit Jide. #kindly visit my previous post too know how she came about this decision# At least she was smart enough to take this trip after her exams. Berta had done her part as a friend in wishing her goodluck, giving her her six year old condoms even though she begged her friend not to have a need for it and had told her to put up her number on the travel manuscript.

 

'Am on my way, Jide.' Maggie spoke into the phone.

 

'On your way to?' Jide asked.

 

'To see you of course. We talked about this yesterday didn't we?'

 

'Babe, i was only kidding. Cant wait to kiss you.' He replied with a laugh.

 

'Kiss who? i thought i made it clear that you wouldn't be kissing me. Not in this visit at least.'

 

'Loosen up girl!!! i wont kiss you ok? At least a hug?'

 

'See you soon anyways.' Maggie said, ignoring his tease with a bit of disgust in her voice.

 

             After boarding a bus, she got a seat beside a man who wouldn't let her be.

She thought to herself,

 

'I know i am man-hunting but there are limits. Why is this old married poor man disturbing me?'

 

After a horrid hot six-hour trip, thanks to the man and the weather, Maggie waited at a restaurant near the park for Jide to come pick her.

She always travelled lightly and had 'vex money on her'.

She kept staring at shiny oncoming cars that seem to be slowing down towards the park, hoping to see him. But none seemed to stop. They all moved along.

            Finally an old rickety 1997 Honda stopped by the park and Jide stepped out. Maggie was out of view so she was watching with interest as Jide picked up his phone obviously to call her. What struck Maggie was that he came with four of his friends. She didn't like that at all. Another factor that struck her was he was not even calling her. She kept looking at him until he caught her gaze by chance, laughed and still on the phone, entered the restaurant, then sat opposite her, smiling.

After three minutes, he finally ended the call and explained that it was his mother.

 

'Yeah, right!' Maggie thought to herself. 'If you call your mother my darling and as a grown man, lie to your mum about where you are, then yes, it was your mother. At least, he couldn't lie that it was a man he was on the phone with.'

 

Either way, she didn't care and wasn't liking her decision to come anymore. Jide was cute but something was telling her to run back to school.

 

'Shall we?' Jide asked.

 

    On their way to Jide's house, the boys spoke in Yoruba. Maggie is an Igbo girl but she understood Yoruba well having lived in the western region for some years. They didn't know that and so they spoke freely.

 

'This your babe make sense o'

 

'Hope you didn't tell madam about her, she go just kill you.'....'hmmm, i was right after all.'

Maggie smiled to herself.

 

'Omo Jide, how tonight go be na?'

 

'We go join you oh. how only you go chop this one alone? na tradition sha. i no know why i dey ask.'

 

'Guys no worry. once am done, una go follow.'

 

'Hope those drugs still remain?'...and the discussion went on and on.

 

           Maggie couldn't even believe her ears. She plastered a smile on her face and told Jide to please drop her by a bank so she could use their atm. Jide offered to escort her but she insisted she went in alone. Right now, she preferred her seatmate from the bus to this. Her limits were increasing afterall.

 

'Do you want to see my atm password?' she asked jokingly, but inside, she was dying.

 

'Ok fine we are waiting for you.' Jide said.

 

"Stupid boys, fools, animals, its me you want to rape abi?, you will wait till Jesus comes. It is really we r waiting for you, not I am waiting for you."  She wished she could say those words out to them.

 

Once she was out of sight from the boys, Maggie made her move.

 

'Sir please is there a back gate?' Maggie asked the security man at the bank, 'my trip home will be shorter from there.'

 

The security man directed her to the back gate and Maggie immediately took a cab to any affordable hotel where she spent the night then returned back to school the next morning and ran tearfully to Berta's room who waited for her with open inviting friendly non-raping arms.

Man-Hunting

Berta and Maggie as usual, were together in Maggie’s room staring at the computer screen. Wondering what they should do?

Earlier on, Berta had walked in on Maggie who was furiously working on her laptop. At least, Berta thought she was until she saw the computer screen filled with pictures of hot men and blue colours. Maggie was on facebook, she was at it again.

Everybody on campus, including Maggie knows her boyfriend is cheating on her, seeing that he is a cult member and he has a reputation to uphold as a player. So every once in a while, Maggie goes man-hunting on facebook.

Max

‘Babe, what about this guy? He looks really cool o. Very cute, see his smile abeg u.’ Berta urged.

‘Hmmm, see name ma sef. Maxwell Gregory. You sure say this one no they chop salad for breakfast?’ Maggie replied. ‘See his fine fine sisters ma sef, ehen!! na this kind clique I wan join. No be you. Dry girl.’ 

 She turned to face her friend teasing her. Berta made an aimless move to hit her friend in response.

“Hello Max, my name is Maggie. I kinda stumbled upon your profile and felt I should say hi. Ciao” Maggie typed.

‘Ehen, very good. Keep it flirty and light. Not too pushy nor forceful. You are really good at this o.’ Berta complimented her friend.

‘I have had lots of practice, and you don’t want to know the things that go on on facebook.’ Maggie replied, laughing.

After waiting for some minutes without a response from their first victim, they decided to move on to someone else.

 Frank

‘Please help me see this guy’s ride. Wow!! Do you see his house too? And he is very cute to boot. This one is too good to be true o.’ Maggie was at it again. ‘Frank  Mccloy. Why Nigerians too they change change name for facebook. In reality his name fit be Ukamaka Nwaofinwuluruowuru.’

Both girls burst into laughter as they realize they had also put up strange sexier names on facebook.

‘Buzz him jor. Are you not the one trying to wash off ugliness from your lineage? However horrible his name may be, you wouldn’t mind bearing it as long as your kids are lovely.’ Berta said, removing all doubts from Maggie’s mind.

“hello handsome. You were suggested as a friend to me by facebook and I just felt we should chat a bit before we get to be friends.”

 Both girls didn’t have to wait too long before there was a response.

“hi Damusel, friends what I live for.”

“Oh that’s great, how come you don’t have as many pictures up?”

“My dear, it becas I busy” Frank replied

‘omo babe, see as this guy they gbagaun everywhere. Are you sure the few pictures he even put up are truly his? Ask am na.’ Berta told her friend.

‘Trust me now.’

“Sorry love, the pics you put up, are they truly yours?”

Once that question was asked, Frank stopped responding and the ladies need not be told that the pics weren't his.

Jide

‘Berta on a serious note though, there is this guy I have been chatting with on and off for three months now and he is cute but he is Yoruba and he lives in ikorodu, Lagos. He claims he is rich, single and perfect for me, but I have my doubts.’

‘What are they?’ Berta asked.

‘Well, my doubts are instinctive. I can’t place my finger on it. We chat well, he types well enough, he even calls me once in a while.’ Maggie replied

‘Oh!! So you have already given him your number. This my friend sef. All I know is that I know you, and you would want to at least meet him once just so you satisfy your curiousity and not regret later on.’

“Hello Jide.  Am thinking about us meeting so we could put a face to the voice.” Maggie texted.

“Yes darling, been thinking about it too. Is this weekend too soon?”

‘And he replies so fast.hmm that’s nice. He looks cool o. Before you even ask me to be your chaperone, I have an exam on Monday, and so you are alone on this one.’ Berta said, backing out from the possible weekend trip.

‘Berta, should I go alone? Its too risky. I can’t go without you, my partner in crime, besides am done with my exams and this is the only free time I believe I have.’

Both girls end up staring at the screen. Contemplating.

                                                                                         ………………………………….To be continued.

For the sake of a very special someone that requested I try out a funny post, I will end this one here but will head right back to being the sad, cynical but funny me.